When you enter into the world of motherhood, you enter a whole new world (and we're not referring to a magic carpet ride like in Aladdin).
We're talking about suddenly questioning why mothers haven't evolved to have 8 arms or eyes in the back of their heads yet...
We're talking about why there wasn't Uber Eats, Door Dash, or grocery delivery 5 years ago for us mamas who are now in toddlerhood.
We're talking about why it's important to actually nap during the day after you were up nursing all night or warming bottles every hour, or changing 12 blowouts in a day.
We're talking about the REAL side of motherhood and the advice you actually need from real moms who have been in your shoes.
So, we rounded up our community and asked our mamas, some daddios/partners, and some grandparents what their advice to a new mom would be, and here are their answers...
"Don’t be so quick to “get your old body back.” The truth of the matter is, nothing will ever be the same, including your body. Take time to honor how beautiful it is, nourish it well, and admire how it can sustain another life so wonderfully." - Katelyn Davis, Doula
"Get an Amazon prime membership and some awesome mom friends." 💕 - Sara B., Mama
"Don’t worry so much about being perfect. Your children know and receive your love when shown it. Concentrate on giving that and the rest will work itself out! And they’ll love you forever for it!" - Brad Deuel, Daddio to 2
"Letting go of that old version of your life - you know the one where you lived it for you, when you followed the schedule YOU dictated, the version of you that could leave the house at a moments notice - letting go of that freedom can be HARD. You’re not selfish for missing it. You CAN figure out a way to navigate your new life in a way that doesn’t feel stifling. Give it some time! Oh, and find a FIT4MOM franchise near you! 😜Finding @fit4momlouisville was a huge turning point for me as a new mama." - raisingthesekyseeds via Instagram
"Trust your instincts and that also includes all the advice you will get from family and friends. You’ve carried that child for 9+ months. Your little one is an extension of you (even if he/she comes out looking exactly like dad 😉). You two are more in-tune to each other than you think." - Tiffany Handcock Clark, Mama
"Do not let mom guilt, judgmental people (other moms, mothers, mothers-in-law, fitness-crazy, super religious moms and most of all anyone (solely) for or against breast feeding) dictate how you feel you should raise your child. Seriously some boobs and babies just don’t mix! Trust your mom instincts, you have them!! Sleep when you can, always... ALWAYS HAVE SNACKS, a change of clothes for you and baby in the car (trust me, it was a poop thing and I had to wear it for hours). Take pictures, write things down so you can remember their favorite food (trust me they will ask...'What was my favorite...?'). Ask for help. Yes, we are warriors, but it takes a village! And again, sleep when you can! " - Melissa Burke Burnette, Mama
"My advice - trust your mama gut. My husband's advice - get rid of all your clocks, lol. The baby sets the schedule for a while, so let yourself enjoy those minutes instead of worrying about what time it is or what you "should" be doing." - Kimberly J. Clarkston, Mama
"I think what made me transition into Mommy world easily was that I put in the effort to include my friends and family in this new chapter. I would encourage new moms to make time for loved ones to be a part of your life as a new mommy- invite people over for coffee, order a pizza, have a girls' night, run out for coffee and leave baby with daddy, have girls come to watch a movie, have dinner, stroller dates - everything! You are still you and you need to have that balance in your world so you don’t lose the “old you.” Many people will not invite themselves over or reach out in fear of overwhelming you." - getfitmindbodyandsoul via Instagram, Mama
"Try to look at the daily disasters and say.....”this will be funny later” and then snap a picture. I have a lot of pictures." - Michelle Wadsworth Seymour, Mama
"Do whatever works for you and your baby." ❤️ - kichter via Instagram, Mama
"Ohhh there are so many things I could say! But I’ll stick with this.. Do what’s best for you and YOUR baby! We co-slept with our first, and sleep trained our second baby. I didn’t care what anyone said about either options because they worked for our family. Do what works for YOU and don’t ever feel an ounce of guilt for it!" ❤️ - megkennedy529 via Instagram, Mama of 2
"Don't wait until you're overwhelmed and ready to jump out a window to ask for help. Delegate that shit. BTW, I'm still trying to practice what I preach. Being a control freak and a mama is tough." - travelingmelsie via Instagram, Mama
"You may be tired and frustrated but don't get discouraged because you are doing an amazing job." - Dan, Daddio
“I would tell her to seek out advice from other moms who have been there so she doesn't feel uncertain. I would suggest she plan to get babysitters once in awhile (even early) so she can have time alone and with her spouse." - Jason D., Daddio to 2
"For you to be the best parent you can be, you have to be balanced in your own life. So, don't be afraid to take care of Mama; every husband wants to know how to help, so make sure to communicate your needs since he wants to get it right but probably doesn't know what you need and/or when you need it." - Carl Z., Daddio to 3
"Not every mom falls in love with her baby the minute she sees her after giving birth. And that's OK! It doesn't mean you don't love him or won't be a good mom." -tiu.angie via Instagram, Mama
"It's OK for this to be one of, if not the hardest thing you've done. Ask for help. Do what's best for you and your family, even if it's different from everyone else you know." - Kara Van Parys Poteat, Mama
"As cliche as it may be, enjoy every minute of every day with them, even the long sleepless nights, everything that seems so tough at the moment, because at the end of the day that is the beautiful part of being a mother. The baby and child part of one’s life is so short and temporary. Take it all in." - Christie Llorente Cardenas, Mama
"Go with your gut. Snuggle your babies as much as you want. And remember all babies/toddlers/kids are different; everyone’s advice may not work...back to my first statement-go with your gut." - klpb614 via Instagram
"Do something for yourself now and then, even if it's just a short walk (sans baby). It will make you a better parent. When you don't, the well runs dry." - carolnissenson via Instagram, Mama
"Not feeling quite right mentally? It's OK! You're not alone and you do not ever need to be ashamed. Reach out to a parents group, doula, lactation consultant, or to someone you trust, seek the advice of postpartum experts, and don't try to face it alone. This advice is for mums AND dads - all new parents can be affected by postpartum mental issues!" - Wilhelmina Urquhart, Mama
"When learning how to mom, only interact with people who give you energy. Energy is your greatest resource. You don’t need people draining you too. Some people will have to have a backseat 💺" - ai_ko_pro via Instagram, Mama
"I am a new mama to a 3-month-old and this is what I would tell myself: There is so much pressure to be the perfect mom and to have the perfect baby who sleeps through the night right away and barely cries... don’t let that pressure get to you- enjoy the snuggles, enjoy the cuddles, enjoy the cries and enjoy the lack of sleep because it goes way too fast and the schedules and sleeping can come later. Enjoy your newborn for what he or she is, a sweet little angel who just needs to be close to mama! ❤️'” - sarahroy777 via Instagram, Mama
Take the help when it’s offered! My first time around I tried to do everything myself and be super mom, now I’m just a few weeks away from baby #2 and barely a peep from friends and fam. I seem to have convinced everyone around me I don’t need help! But I do! So I guess the other tip is to ASK for help if no one is offering 😉. It’s OK that it takes a village, you are not meant to be an island! - thebabrs via Instagram, Mama
"Babies will cry, it’s what they do! INTERNALIZE THAT. Accept their feelings and their need to cry out some angst. Let them cry in your arms, without feeling the need to “fix” (bounce, walk, pacify, etc.), anything at all. Just be. Your calm is a gift to them. I wish I’d learned this sooner!" - scottimorrow via Instagram, Mama
"Follow your baby's lead" - Brian, Husband to Angela and Daddio to 2 "Once I learned to do that (and loosen up a bit), my life as a mom got better, and (my husband) saw me, after 9 months, finally start to enjoy being a mom" - Angela C., Mama to 2, Wife to Brian
"It's OK to be not be OK- or to not love motherhood. I definitely didn't think I'd be one to not be basking in the motherhood love cloud filled with rainbows and sunshine, but those first couple months were rough and sometimes I'd have thoughts of "I don't like this" or "We should have waited." But I also suggest finding a postpartum group so you can talk it out with other mommas and share your hardships and sentiments together. " - Samantha Hardy, Mama
"Ask for help and accept help, it's OK to not be OK and to struggle. Soak it in and enjoy as much as you can, but it's OK for every day not to be perfect and sunshine." - Caitlin Ventiere, Mama
"Use the dang swing for every newborn nap and DON'T feel guilty! LOL." - Rachel Fisher, Mama of 2
"It’s OK to be disappointed or sad about things. It’s not always puppy dogs and rainbows 100% of the time. Just remember it’s OK to reach out to a friend or family member if these thoughts start to consume your thoughts. Hugs ❤️❤️" - renorxv2.0 via Instagram
"When you have your 2nd or 3rd etc., your ‘big kids’ will miss you, you will miss them but let them go with family/friends. You need it and so do they. Realize that you are only one mom and cannot possibly be at every great and happy moment of their life. It’s okay. Someone who loves them very much is really enjoying being with your kiddos. It takes a village." - Julie Anne Rutigliano, Mama
"1 in 7 women experience PPD and/or PPA (American Psychological Association, 2018). Talk about what's going on with your doctor and other moms. Accept that PPD + PPA are not weakness or your fault because you did something 'wrong'. It's okay to admit you may need help; whether it be via meds, therapy, support, or all of the above, find a community...take care of YOU because you deserve proper care and help through any postpartum disorder." - Stat via (American Psychological Association, 2018).
"Invest in a baby carrier. It’s the only way." - Micheline Bailey, Mama
"Ask for his help. Accept your friends help when offered! Don’t sit and silently resent him and try to do it all on your own because ‘as moms we should be able to’. We can’t. And that’s 100% OK! The saying ‘it takes a village’ is for real. Use your village! For example, I had started resenting my husband because he would come home from work and ask ‘How can I help you?’ which he honestly meant but I was annoyed because it’s not all on me to handle it all! (P.S I work full time too!) Or know what WE need done at all times. Instead, I found tasks we could each own- I pumped and nursed, he handled milk storage organization and bottle cleaning. That was his job. We shared diaper duty. We became the team we were before, we just had to figure out how to add these parts in and adjust, just like after we moved in together. Find what works for you. You’ve got this!!!" - Amy Mrugacz, Mama
"Take the help when it’s offered. No matter how big or small the offer - take it. We all need help. Especially during the newborn phase!" - Mary Mulloy Pack, Mama
"Get help for postpartum depression early, don’t suffer through it alone. For Dads...it’s OK to not know how to help the mama through postpartum depression. Just encourage her to get help." - Jen Boys, Mama
Take the help! Don’t be prideful and try to be super mom while healing. (That was a big issue for me). - Stacy Messer, Mama
"Parenthood is about playing good defense! You don’t always know the kids' moves but you do your best to defend against it." - Dan, Daddio to 2 (and ex-football player)
"Take it all in, but only apply what works for you and your baby." - Stephanie H.
"Sleep when the baby sleeps. Make time for yourself. We all make mistakes. Learn from them and keep it moving. Do what works for you and yours; I've yet to see a 'perfect family' (offline). Be present; they grow faster than you think. Give them time to navigate and soothe themselves. They need to learn to be self-reliant & independent." - jennijean125 via Instagram
"Buy a ton of frozen meals!!!! 😛" - californiakellyslife via Instagram
"When help is offered, take it. You need to take care of yourself so you can take care of your baby. It's OK to be an imperfect parent." - Linda You
"If you want to wear your baby, start when your little one is just days old! He or she will get used to it and love it, and you will have your hands free." - shrubear via Instagram
"Cook and freeze meals before baby comes - even around week 32 because you might not feel like it later. Set up a meal train and let your friends and acquaintances know about it. I’m not from here and didn’t have my best friends to drop by, read my mind, bring me food and help out. So let people know you need help and then take it! Limit newborn visits to one hour and ONLY when you are ready. That was after 2 weeks for us. And if a parent or family member volunteers to come stay and help, do it!" - Katie Rombauer
“If you’re having troubles breastfeeding, you’re not alone. Find a local lactation consultant and breastfeeding support group. If you try everything and exclusively nursing does not work and/or is just not for you, there is no shame in it: #fedisbest. Also, the new mama sleep deprivation is real. Listen to your body and try to get rest when you can; the dishes and the laundry and the dog poop in the backyard can wait one more day. Nap, snuggle, and just enjoy this special time.” - Shelley Hopper, Mama
"Four words: This too shall pass." - Mandy Meyer
“Nobody should tell you how to feel, act or what to do. Everyone’s experience is different. Take as much help as you can get...if someone offers to do your laundry, let her do it. Someone wants to do your dishes or make you dinner, let him do it. Also, when you get home from the hospital, invite grandparents, family or a friend over to hold your new baby for 2 to 3 hours while you take a nap. It’s totally rejuvenating.” - Hubby of Brynn Johnson
"Ask for and receive help. We’re not meant to go it alone and the village is essential." - Jody Lamberto Springer
"It. Gets. Better. Keep those girls' nights out and let loose once in a while." - Melissa Tripicchio
"Take all the help you can. When someone asks, 'Can I bring you dinner? How can I help?' etc., tell them! Oh, and stay on your meds if you had a C-section (Mom of 2 C-section babes)" - Meghan Tavelli
"Enjoy all the snuggles and don’t worry about of all the things you “should do”. Rest, eat well and ask for/accept help when you need it. Whatever helps you feel calm and happy, whether it’s reading People magazine, taking a nap or mopping your kitchen, do whatever helps you feel your best." - Lisa Sargent Waskowitz
So, what would your advice be to a new mom??
Leave a note in the comments!